The Name of This Book Is Secret by Pseudonymous Bosch

Right from page one, our enigmatic author gives readers warning not to read any further, then congratulates readers for their inquisitiveness and bravery at turning the page. He also informs readers that he will not be held responsible for the consequences of said inquisitiveness and bravery.

The name of the book is Secret, meaning that he cannot tell you the title, not that it’s the actual title (or maybe it is, one can never tell with Mr. Bosch…if that is his real name*…). The book centers on the despicable desires of Ms. Mauvais and Dr. L to acquire knowledge of the Secret, in this case an actual Secret, ancient and Egyptian in nature, and the efforts of Cass and Max-Ernest to keep the Secret a secret.

Mr. Bosch goes to great lengths to protect his readers, even refusing to give any details about his characters. So I will not tell you about Cass’s pointy ears, survivalist instinct, single mother, adopted grandfathers, or tendency to predict disaster. I will also not tell you about Max-Ernest’s logical mind, desire to understand jokes, friendlessness, quirky divorced parents, or proclivity to ramble.

Together, Cass and Max-Ernest stumble on a mystery involving Italian twins, carny folk (ain’t no folk like carny folk!), kidnapping, magicians, a trip to the spa, synesthesia (for more information, see A Mango Shaped Space by Wendy Hass or click here), and an Egyptian secret. After a classmate disappears, Cass realizes that she knows where he’s gone. After she leaves to rescue him, Max-Ernest realizes where Cass has gone and leaves to rescue her.

All this leaving and rescuing sets up an edge-of-your-seat ending (or whatever ending you choose seeing that Mr. – eh-hem – Bosch has left two pages of blank lines for readers to fill in their own endings, an addition surely lauded by librarians around the world). The denouement, so called because “the word sounds so sophisticated and French,” ties up most loose ends, leaving just enough yarn for the spinning of a sequel.

*WHICH, OF COURSE, IT IS NOT, BUT THIS DOES GIVE ME AN OPPORTUNITY TO DEMONSTRATE HIS USE OF FOOTNOTES THROUGHOUT THE BOOK TO GIVE RATHER LEMONY (OR IS IT SNICKET-Y?) ASIDES.