Beware of the Frog is about a “sweet little old lady named Mrs. Collywobbles” who “lives in a little house on the edge of a big, dark, scary wood.” Mrs. Collywobbles has a beautiful parasol, curly gray hair, and wire rimmed glasses. She has a pleasant smile and wears a lace apron, two rows of grandma pearls, and a fine flowered hat that matches her sensible red handbag. (She has the look of a woman who would call a neighbor child “darling” and make a mean dessert, probably strawberry shortcake or a blueberry tort, using berries gathered from the edge of the big, dark, scary wood. I don’t know for sure, but that’s her look.)
Mrs. Collywobbles has what every little old lady needs, especially little old ladies who live on the edge of a big, dark, scary wood. Protection. In the form of her little pet frog.
But can a little pet frog really protect sweet Mrs. Collywobbles from the dangers of the wood when said dangers venture out with minds set on mischief…or worse? When Greedy Goblin shows up singing his greedy song, can a frog help? What about Smelly Troll? When Mrs. Collywobbles hears “Dum-de-dum, dum-de-dummy, I’ve got a very, very hungry tummy…” sung by Giant Hungry Ogre, a beast whose favorite food is sweet little old lady, will a little pet frog be enough?
Umm…yes. One might say her little pet frog has an appetite for protection. (Heh, heh, heh.)
As in most stories involving mythical beasts, fair maidens, and frogs, the story ends with a kiss. There is a kiss, but there is no prince. There is a transformation, but like I said, there is no prince. And author William Bee shows that when double-crossed, even sweet little old ladies, even ones who need protection, have an appetite for vindication.
I just love Bee's twisted sense of humor. My personal favorite is 'Whatever.'
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