Alvin Ho: Allergic to Girls, School, and Other Scary Things by Lenore Look

Dear Mr. W,

Today while reading Alvin Ho: Allergic to Girls, School, and Other Scary Things by Lenore Look, Alvin used swearing words but they weren’t actual curses. The curses were from Shakespeare. He was at the psychotherapist, but he thought that meant she was crazy, like psycho.

I was wondering what some of the curses mean. He said, “Grow unsightly warts, thou half-faced horn-beast!” and “Bathe thyself, thou reeky reeling-ripe pigeon egg!” and “Sit thee on a spit, then eat my sneakers, thou droning beef-witted nut hook!” What’s a nut hook? What is a half-faced horn-beast? Why is a pigeon egg smelly? Maybe when it says ripe, it means that it is a rotten egg. I’ve smelled one of those before, and it’s not pretty.

I also wondered why his dad took him to get ice cream. I expected him to get punished for speaking that way, but he got ice cream instead. That didn’t seem right. I thought he might get a spanking or something like that. Usually when you speak mean to someone, you get in trouble. At school that happens. When kids talk mean, they get in trouble. I guess his dad knew he had a bad day at the psychotherapist, and dads know that sometimes ice cream can make things better, especially ice cream with your dad.

Sincerely,
Brian 4th Grader